Wednesday, July 1, 2009

this is for you.

first and foremost, i only wanted you to be loved. i gave you all the love i possibly could, and somehow it wasn't enough. i trusted you blindly, millions of times. i wanted to show you that someone could genuinely love you, believe in you, and be by your side even when you make mistakes. i could go on loving you unconditionally, but it's killing me to have false hope for you. you're so put-together on the outside, but i know the real you. i have so much more love surrounding me than you do. that's why i know i'll be okay eventually. i wanted to give you part of me, part of my huge heart that seems to believe in you because of the glimmer in your eyes. i want to be your best friend, and help you, and love you, and still see you on your good days and smile and remember things that made me fall for you. but you are a broken person. you only hurt those you love because you're too scared they might do it to you first. i try hard not to hate you and love you at the same time. i try hard to remember that i do know the real you, but you are a shitty person. i shouldn't want to change you, only you are allowed to have that desire. you already know what you lost when you lost me. our bond can't be duplicated. i worry about you often, but i know you wouldn't want me to. with time, i just hope you can appreciate what i tried to do.